• I’ve Grown Up Now and Want Something Different  
• Exploring the world of self development can create marital strain 
• Stopped Talking to Each Other?
• The marriage ending was inevitable, but the affair ending was too painful 
• Sublime to Ridiculous - no middle ground - argue or make love

I’ve Grown Up Now and Want Something Different

Carol (names have been changed) has been married for 20 years to a man 15 years her senior. They met when she was fresh out of university and fell in love. He was a successful business man and Carol was starting her career path. Over the years, they have both concentrated on their careers and building the family assets. For a few years Carol has been unsettled and not happy in her marriage, and when she eventually contacted Jackie she wanted to tell her husband that although she loved him, she wasn’t in love with him. He was a good friend, a good man, but not someone with whom she felt a passionate connection.

Jackie worked with Carol for a couple of months and during that time she found the courage to tell her husband how she felt.  By speaking in weekly telephone calls over 12 sessions, Carol was able to find her voice and her feet. She had been scared of doing this for fear of upsetting him, and wondering what might happen. 

Focusing from the outset on what Carol’s ideal situation would be and how she would feel, Jackie set about exploring where the real block was. Giving Carol the opportunity to be entirely honest with herself, it became apparent that ‘being nice’ and ‘being grateful for what you’ve got’ had held her back from creating a life for herself in which she shone rather than existed. At all times keeping the possibility of being able to find the new life by making tweaks to the old one lest divorce wasn’t necessary, they proceeded through a variety of coaching and NLP steps.

“...... Then I found myself facing a brick wall that I could find no way over, under or around. Jackie showed me how to break the wall down brick by brick, she then helped me to walk through. The best bit is that Jackie doesn’t just leave you there. Jackie allows you to see that at the other side of that wall there is a great big beautiful world just waiting for you.”

Only when Carol was completely certain of how she was feeling, and with an ability to express it, did she then speak to her husband. Rather than be angry, he realised what mistakes he’d made during the marriage and set about putting things right. Unfortunately it was too late for Carol. They have remained good friends and their separation has been very amicable and adult - both wanting to support one another going forward.

Exploring the world of self development can create marital strain 

Susan was desperately unhappy in her long marriage and felt that they both were living separate lives even though they ran the family business together. She said she still loved her husband and didn’t know whether to divorce or not. She felt that she was not an equal partner either at home, nor at work. She wanted more from life and had started to attend self development courses which helped her understand herself better - this unfortunately just led to greater discontent.   

Working with Jackie she was able to address the particular areas one by one and each week she practised her learnings and found that instead of being dis-satisfied, she was beginning to find pleasure in her home and work life.

Susan had started to learn about the Law of Attraction, The Secret, Astrology and various other self help tools. She was finding it a challenge to be able to use them and grow while at the same time maintaining her business and personal relationship with her husband. During their time together she learned how to put into practice what she’d been reading by being coached and taught how to use it in her own situation by Jackie. At the same time, Jackie used NLP and Timeline Therapy techniques to create the perfect environment for Susan to get rid of her blocks.

Susan worked with Jackie over a period of 6 months by telephone and had one half day face to face meeting. She found ways to communicate, stop controlling, start relaxing and start living. Over the weeks she became astounded as her husband responded positively to her... and he didn’t even know Susan was working with Jackie! It was the changes she was making which were creating the difference all round. 

“Thank you Jackie  - ur relationship feels young and invigorated and we are better business partners too!”

Stopped Talking to Each Other?

This couple came to spend a weekend in Edinburgh to address various issues which had arisen in their marriage. Jason was getting upset at the thought that Fiona was unwilling to help save their marriage. She agreed to come because she was keen to save it.

During the weekend they recognised the different ways that they were misunderstanding one another, were able to be completely honest about what they each saw was a problem and learned the positive steps to take towards listening and respecting one another.

They arrived barely able to look at one another, and left having agreed joint goals and aims. They found that the differences weren’t so huge, it was how they dealt with them. They found that they each had different needs and had a checklist to be able to help one another get them met.

Jackie and Tim focused the weekend on what the couple wanted to achieve by the end of Sunday - this was recognition of whether they could mend or end their relationship. Using teaching, coaching, NLP and walking, they focussed on the key areas in relationships which can quickly make a difference. With interactive exercises and both couple and individual sessions in a light hearted, fun but deep manner, they were soon seeing the understanding coming to Jason and Fiona’s eyes.

Being able to talk openly without fear of recrimination, put down and judgement with an unbiased third party enabled them to really be honest with one another.  They were last heard taking a lovely week’s holiday in Spain!

“We have a long way still to go but now we understand our differences and from the exercises with you, we know how to handle them. Jason has stopped being so controlling and I’m now able to look him in the eye. Our intimate life is getting back on track too!"

The program: Two full days from 10am - 6pm called the Two Close to the Edge Weekend. Couple and individual work with Jackie Walker and Tim Hodgson created a safe environment for Jason and Fiona to explore what was really going on. 

The marriage ending was inevitable, but the affair ending was too painful

Simon, a successful entrepreneurial business man had fallen in love with a woman 20 years his junior, the body of a model, witty, intelligent, adventurous and a great friend. His marriage had been falling apart for years, and this was the answer to his dreams. After a year, his divorce came through and his girlfriend ended the relationship. His logical head understood, but his emotions took hold and he fell to pieces. 

Simon wanted help with jealousy as he intended remaining good friends with her. He found himself panicking and sadness engulfed him.   He was unable to eat and sleep. 

Focusing on what he was really afraid of and mining a bit deeper to find out his relationship patterns, it soon became apparent that Simon didn’t have strong boundaries, lived his life through his loved one and needed to set out a personal vision for the future. 

Over a period of 3 months with weekly phone calls made all the difference Simon needed. He learned to let go of the romantic dream and build a new one for himself. He was very quickly able to eat and sleep again and got rid of the panic attacks. As we addressed the jealousy some old stories came to light and he was quickly and easily able to move on.

"Now the company is unbelievably successful, work partner and I are in a gr8 place.  I'm also in an awesome relationship.  Thnx 4 all your help you made a massive difference'

Sublime to Ridiculous - no middle ground - argue or make love

Ruth called when she and her husband had decided to have a trial separation as they were at loggerheads most of the time and found that they couldn’t live together any longer.   When they weren’t arguing, they loved each other with all their combined might. It seemed however that more and more time was spent in the arguing. Their separation wasn’t going well as they both missed one another desperately. Her husband was seeing a counsellor at work and he was addressing his side of the story.

Ruth was keen to save the marriage and find ways to get over the highs and lows which they had. During our sessions she very quickly realised that she needed to change some of her behaviours and how she spoke with her husband. She learned that she wasn’t honest, she hid things in fear of there being another fallout. They were under financial pressure and both addressed it differently.

Jackie could hear the speed at which Ruth worked by the way she spoke, asking her to slow down and take time for herself from the outset was a priority. Ruth gave and gave to her husband, family and extended family. She gave to work. She didn’t stop to see how she might be able to get. She didn’t have enough self esteem to be able to ask for help or see that she deserved it. Working with Ruth, Jackie had to cut through the bluff so that the real person could come out and be noticed.

Within a very short period of time - in only 4 sessions with Jackie on Skype - Ruth was able to make the differences needed.  Ruth was able to be open and honest with her husband, put into place the basic skills to avoid arguing, began to ask for help, stopped noticing what wasn’t working and took some time to herself.

“I’d recommend your work to anybody who is having relationship issues, and unable to see the wood for the trees. Just following your simple instructions has given us enormous benefit. I loved that you made me laugh at the way I was.”

She now books in for monthly top up sessions in order to keep things on track. They are handling anything which comes up now in a very different way which is working perfectly for them.

Read some Through Breakup case studies here.

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